Man a lot has happened this month. A lot of self-discovery and growth, but a lot of hardships and emotions as well. I guess I hope that next month will be less anxious and stressful and that I will be able to tell some important people in my life the things that they need to hear.
29. A picture of yourself.
Probably April or May. I don’t know why exactly, I was just really happy. Probably because I finished up a hard semester and started dating the wonderful Ms. Kate :-)
I am one of five. I have three older brothers and a little sister. My oldest brother is Ed, Jr. He is 29 yrs old. He is married and has two children that I love to death. I’m pretty close to Ed and can talk to him about a lot. My brother Matt is 27. He and I used to be close, but have recently grown apart. My brother Andy is 24. He is engaged and will get married in March. My sister Abby is 16. She and I are pretty close. We grew up sharing a room together and bickering like sisters do. But we get along pretty well now.
When asked this question, I usually just say that I am agnostic. There are times when I think that there could be a higher power, but I more often than not doubt that.
What I do believe in is the goodness of people, the power of nature, and the sacredness of relationships. Other that that, I have few religious beliefs.
1. Make me laugh.
2. Laugh at my jokes :-P
3. Deal with my mood swings.
4. Tell me I look good when I know I don’t.
5. Talk to me about real, down to earth things.
6. Show that you are an empathetic person.
7. Have a passion.
8. Be close to your family.
9. Talk with me about silly, ridiculous things.
10. Be spontaneous.
1. Thank you for understanding how I am. I love you.
2. I guess your reaction was fairly positive, but I can’t help but feel that you don’t believe me or you think I’m being dramatic. This is the same thing you did when I came out as gay to you.
3. You say you are accepting and open-minded, but I just don’t think you’d understand. I guess I can’t blame you; I don’t really understand either.
4. You seem incredibly cynical and hateful for being the voice of a people who would just like to be loved and accepted.
5. We’ve been through a lot together and I love you dearly, friend. I just wish you had more time for me.
I often wonder “what if” I would have done something differently in my life. I wonder if I’d be happier now or if things would be different. I try to keep in mind a quote from Dana Gioia, one of my favorite poets…
“and memory insists on pining
For places it never went.
As if life would be happier,
Just be being different.”
1. I write poetry.
2. I used to be on a bowling league when I was in grade school.
3. I used to play piano/keyboard.
4. I actually really enjoyed watching Oprah. Not so much for Oprah herself, but for her guests.
5. I pet my own head when I’m bored or I’m thinking.
6. I like to pet other people’s heads too!
7. I have an unnatural obsession with office supplies. I could spend all day in an Office Depot.
8. I prefer to be little spoon.
9. I have a hard time going to sleep after a scary movie.
10. I used to want to be a medical examiner.
I’d say something that still really sticks with my is the bullying I went through in grade school. I always felt very different from other kids, and they treated me like I was very different, as well. I feel like that blow to my self esteem still sticks with me sometimes, as silly as that sounds. I sometimes wish I could just go back and tell these kids, “I’m not different or weird! I’m just gay!” I think that was a big part of why I felt like such and outcast. I didn’t identify with most of the girls. I always wanted to play games with the boys, but couldn’t because I was “just a girl.” I never really felt like I had a place, I guess. I think that is something I still struggle with.